Hula hoop up on the roof Not sure how I’ll reach it… Hula hoop up on the roof… I guess the roof can keep it!

UNFINISHED WORK IN PROGRESS My Baby Calls Me Juliet My baby calls me Juliet She will not call me ‘Mom’ And everyday, ‘round 5AM She sounds like an alarm! “Ju-li-et, Ju-li-et ( **16 times**) “Oh, yes, my pet? I’m up, you bet! What can I get for you this morn’? Yogurt, oatmeal, a banana… Some flakes made out of corn? “And one small thing It’s no big deal And really only if you feel But maybe, and just for today, You’ll call me 'mama' While we play?” And she pinched her nose An

Food mess Toast crumbs in the butter Peanut butter in the jam Food bits in the milk cup Peas smashed into the ham Soggy cereal in a milk bowl Banana peel turned black A bit up, brown old apple Fruit flies in full attack Soda’s lost its bubble The tortilla’s pounded flat The salsa’s warm as sunshine The guac’s been eaten by the cat Forgotten ice cream melted Juice is running down the drain Freezer’s been left open Ice cubes dripping down like rain Stale chips on a plate, left

HOME Home is a place Home has a taste Home is zone Where some time you can waste Home is a space Where you lie down your face Late at night on a pillow Set an alarm, just in case Home is a base Touch it most, take first place A batter, a ball In a high speed thrill chase Home is relief When you can't change the part And your new next door neighbor Helps your old car to start Home is a chair Where you sit down with ease Warm tea with lemon And honey from bees Home is your fami

Oh my teeth are yellow And my hair is white And when I wake up in the morn' It's like I've been up all night Oh my hair is wild And my armpits stink And I ain't had nuthin' But ginger ale to drink And I've got no class And I've got no cash But oh my Lordy I make those gold cymbals crash I make the big drum sing I let the silver bells shake The snare drum snaps Now everybody's awake I make the people dance I make them twirl their hips Make the folks forget to put their drinks

A Christmas wreath A pumpkin flat A spangled banner And leprechaun hat An Easter egg A tulip flag Bright pink hearts A witchy hag A neverending holiday... When the neighbors don't put their decorations away....

Crooked Brownies Someone cut the brownies badly And I swear it wasn’t me But i couldn’t leave them there Looking crooked as can be So I took a butter knife And I made a tiny trim Then I ate a little sliver….. Then the feasting did begin! The brownies were still warm And oh, my my my my! I couldn’t stop the nibbling No matter how I tried!

THE LUNCH LADY’S A GENIUS The lunch lady’s a genius Don’t tell anyone But on the weekends She does calculus just for fun The lunch lady’s a genius She once made a sculpture For the nature museum Of an ultra rare vulture The lunch lady’s a genius And I’ll tell you what She studied the dolphins And lived in a hut The lunch lady’s a genius She can name the subspecies Of the American muskrat By the scent of its feces The lunch lady’s a genius You know what I heard? She can tell b

CRINKLE CUT BUTTERNUT TOAST Crinkle cut Butternut Toast First had it out on the West Coast Never had it before Unsure what was in store Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast? Sounds unappetizing to most But you know what they say When in Rome for the day Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast I know that it kinda sounds gross But the squash is mashed up Beside the toast in a cup Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast The cri

The Baby Eats Dog Food Oh the baby eats dog food His breath is just so rude His kisses will make you turn green! But he just loves to nibble That crunchy old kibble It’s the grossest thing I’ve ever seen Oh the baby eats dog food My dad says “Oh, ick, dude!” When he sticks his face into the bowl But I never once saw A baby sit and give paw And now he can speak, shake, and roll!

The Old Biddies What am I supposed to do When the old biddies say “You should be controlling your children! They shouldn't be acting this way!” My kids pick their own outfits They say I have no style Though I wish they’d choose some Appropriate clothes once in awhile My oldest son wears sandals Right through mid December But when the summer comes It’s black hoodies ‘til September And my sweet girl won’t wear her coat She screams and fights and cries And when the biddies see h