Hula hoop up on the roof Not sure how I’ll reach it… Hula hoop up on the roof… I guess the roof can keep it!

THE LUNCH LADY’S A GENIUS The lunch lady’s a genius Don’t tell anyone But on the weekends She does calculus just for fun The lunch lady’s a genius She once made a sculpture For the nature museum Of an ultra rare vulture The lunch lady’s a genius And I’ll tell you what She studied the dolphins And lived in a hut The lunch lady’s a genius She can name the subspecies Of the American muskrat By the scent of its feces The lunch lady’s a genius You know what I heard? She can tell b

CRINKLE CUT BUTTERNUT TOAST Crinkle cut Butternut Toast First had it out on the West Coast Never had it before Unsure what was in store Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast? Sounds unappetizing to most But you know what they say When in Rome for the day Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast I know that it kinda sounds gross But the squash is mashed up Beside the toast in a cup Crinkle cut Butternut Toast Crinkle cut Butternut Toast The cri

MY GRANDMA’S SMELLS LIKE ONIONS My grandma’s smells like onions She chops them up real small She warms them in a pan a bit And rolls the meat into a ball Grandma rolls some rising dough And flicks around her wrist Then lays it on a baking sheet And bakes up a garlic twist The spaghetti is al dente Just like the Old World style A mountain in the colander Rises up a mile When we sit together My grandma passes ‘round the butter And says “There’s nothing better Than eating dinner

The Baby Eats Dog Food Oh the baby eats dog food His breath is just so rude His kisses will make you turn green! But he just loves to nibble That crunchy old kibble It’s the grossest thing I’ve ever seen Oh the baby eats dog food My dad says “Oh, ick, dude!” When he sticks his face into the bowl But I never once saw A baby sit and give paw And now he can speak, shake, and roll!

The Old Biddies What am I supposed to do When the old biddies say “You should be controlling your children! They shouldn't be acting this way!” My kids pick their own outfits They say I have no style Though I wish they’d choose some Appropriate clothes once in awhile My oldest son wears sandals Right through mid December But when the summer comes It’s black hoodies ‘til September And my sweet girl won’t wear her coat She screams and fights and cries And when the biddies see h

PEACE TO ALL THE FREAKS Peace to all the freaks The weirdos and the geeks Peace to all the normal people too Peace to everyone with hair golden like the sun And peace to all the folks with hair of blue Peace to all the girls Peace to all the boys Peace those unsure or in between Peace to all the ladies The fellas and the babies Peace to all the grandmas and the teens Peace to every family And all the colors that they can be Peace to all the languages we speak Peace to all the